THE DESEXUALIZATION OF THE AMERICAN MARRIAGE/A SEXUAL-SYSTEM EXAM: FINDING YOUR SEXUAL TAO
First, place yourself on each axis in the direction that you feel best represents your feelings about your marriage. Next, place your partner on that same axis. Your marriage will then have four scores to discuss on the Sexual-System Exam, your score for self and partner and your partner’s two scores. Remember, as with super marital sex, it’s the doing, not the scoring, that counts!
It will sometimes seem that a certain score must be a better score, but systems theory, the theory behind the super sex marriage, teaches that too much of even an apparently good thing is not necessarily the healthiest status for a growing adapting system. An athlete can be very fit—scoring high on all measures of muscle, speed, and endurance—yet not be very healthy—adaptable, happy, loving, and learning. Try to break free of your assumptions of good or bad and think in terms of balance, in terms of positioning your marriage for change, growth, and responsiveness to the needs and maturation of the marital partners.
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